The Omnipotent Master
No being is more feared and worshiped as this being. He is the one who can decide whether you live or die; whether you get gold beyond your wildest dreams, or if you get a fucking fireball to the face; he owns you.
This being I am speaking of is none other than The Dungeon Master! Known on this plain of existance as Kevin Gibson.
For Kevin is the one who keeps all the ninjas, pirates, and red dragons at bay with his awesome smiting powers. It is Kevin who fucks over the Taliban every night so that honest, hard working Canadians can sleep sound. It is Kevin who puts the fucking food you eat on your plate! It is truly a humbling privilage to bestow his epic tales upon you readers out there.
When he was born to the plain through a mortal woman, straight out of the womb he kicked two ninjas to explosion, doctors knew they were not handling an ordinary boy.
In preschool while the other kids were playing with their spirographs, Kevin was inventing new planes of existance, and solar systems. Also he had some bad ass facial hair. Yes, he was born with it!
Fast forward to grade 5! You all may have been too young to remember, but in the year that Kevin was 5 there was a large gathering of evil forces of the earth. They were all meeting for one reason, and that reason was Kevin. For they thought he was the boy of legend, and they wanted to put an end to this. They sent a crack squad of Mounty Ninjas to assassinate Kevin before he reached maturity, but Kevin was tipped off by an annonymous source. Kevin thusly prepared Rocky style for the days before the MN's were scheduled to attack. Needless to say, with one glare Kevin istantly petrified about 3 MN's and also made them piss their pants. After this Kevin used his roundhouse kick to finish off about half of them, and after that, twas all Heart Takers from there! Real Temple of Doom style! Anyway, with that epic battle Kevin was through his first trial in this world.
Hmm, back to the Red Dragons! Kevin likes to take romps into the Fire Plain to kill them. Sources varie, but eye witnesses have told us that the Red Dragons have shat themselves before a good smiting. Kevin also enjoys the sport of ninja hunting. Armed only with one hand, he goes out into forests in Japan and attempts to attract schools on ninjas. When they get close enough Kevin uses his lightning fast reflexes to snath out all of their hearts in half a heart-beat. That's right; Half!
Now a days he spends his time fighting the Taliban, world hunger, and AIDS. He attends Sherwood Secondary, and this is just a clever guise, for he is really recruiting an army of Sherwood students to do his bidding, they do this willingly of course. For none can resist the ultra-charm of Kevin the Dungeon Master!
To end this epic tale of woes, foes, and whores, I will give this closing statement.
"If you let me fall into a single trap I swear to god I'll kill you"
Goodnight,
~Sean
This being I am speaking of is none other than The Dungeon Master! Known on this plain of existance as Kevin Gibson.
For Kevin is the one who keeps all the ninjas, pirates, and red dragons at bay with his awesome smiting powers. It is Kevin who fucks over the Taliban every night so that honest, hard working Canadians can sleep sound. It is Kevin who puts the fucking food you eat on your plate! It is truly a humbling privilage to bestow his epic tales upon you readers out there.
When he was born to the plain through a mortal woman, straight out of the womb he kicked two ninjas to explosion, doctors knew they were not handling an ordinary boy.
In preschool while the other kids were playing with their spirographs, Kevin was inventing new planes of existance, and solar systems. Also he had some bad ass facial hair. Yes, he was born with it!
Fast forward to grade 5! You all may have been too young to remember, but in the year that Kevin was 5 there was a large gathering of evil forces of the earth. They were all meeting for one reason, and that reason was Kevin. For they thought he was the boy of legend, and they wanted to put an end to this. They sent a crack squad of Mounty Ninjas to assassinate Kevin before he reached maturity, but Kevin was tipped off by an annonymous source. Kevin thusly prepared Rocky style for the days before the MN's were scheduled to attack. Needless to say, with one glare Kevin istantly petrified about 3 MN's and also made them piss their pants. After this Kevin used his roundhouse kick to finish off about half of them, and after that, twas all Heart Takers from there! Real Temple of Doom style! Anyway, with that epic battle Kevin was through his first trial in this world.
Hmm, back to the Red Dragons! Kevin likes to take romps into the Fire Plain to kill them. Sources varie, but eye witnesses have told us that the Red Dragons have shat themselves before a good smiting. Kevin also enjoys the sport of ninja hunting. Armed only with one hand, he goes out into forests in Japan and attempts to attract schools on ninjas. When they get close enough Kevin uses his lightning fast reflexes to snath out all of their hearts in half a heart-beat. That's right; Half!
Now a days he spends his time fighting the Taliban, world hunger, and AIDS. He attends Sherwood Secondary, and this is just a clever guise, for he is really recruiting an army of Sherwood students to do his bidding, they do this willingly of course. For none can resist the ultra-charm of Kevin the Dungeon Master!
To end this epic tale of woes, foes, and whores, I will give this closing statement.
"If you let me fall into a single trap I swear to god I'll kill you"
Goodnight,
~Sean
posted by Sean Sloth at 9:56 PM
5 Comments:
What an amazing fellow. LONG LIVE KEVIN
all i can say is that im so super confused right now? haha. :( lol
-livvy<3
Hooray for kevin! He's quite the crazy fellow.
I swear to god if i get hit by one magic missle in any dungeon that you could have disarmed ill petrify your ass/make you piss your pants, but youll be pissing stone chunks so thats something to think about!
Kinda like kidney stones...
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